Maybe there is something unique about your twenties. Maybe it’s recency bias. Maybe it’s just me. Whatever it is, when I think about who I was and who am I now over the course of a decade, it’s bewildering.
Beliefs, interests, personality traits, food preferences, hobbies—so much has shifted, evolved, grown. I have gray hairs, weigh twenty pounds more, and can grow a much better mustache. My heart doesn’t feel like it might escape my chest at the prospect of public speaking now, and I’m not trying to be a full-time musician anymore. The list is extensive.
What’s on your list? Are you proud of the change, or do you see a course correction ahead?
I heard someone say recently they don’t trust someone who hasn’t changed at all in the last five years. If you wouldn’t disagree with your five-years-ago self on anything then you probably aren’t growing. I wholeheartedly agree. We are not, and should try to be, static creatures.
“If you are not consciously choosing to do one thing, you are subconsciously choosing to do the opposite.”
We are influenced by innumerable things: who we surround ourselves with (and follow), the books we read, the shows we watch, the music we listen to, the circumstances that happen to us, the consequences of the choices we make.
Some things are out of our control, and the only thing within our control is our reaction. But for everything else—people, books, shows, your environment—are you choosing well? Are you choosing at all?
On a recent episode of Back Porch Hangs with my friends, a question about goals for 2019 came up. My immediate thought went to growing my income, increasing my savings, reducing my debt, having and doing things.
The “what” is easy to talk about. The more I think about the question, and the more I unpack this idea of changing as an individual, the more I realize I need to also clearly define the “who” answer to that question and revisit it often.
I turn 30 next year. People call that a “real adult” I hear. And while I have an idea of some things I want to have and do, I feel a swelling conviction about making sure the “who” in that equation is growing in the right direction.
Yes, I’ll write out goals, and they’ll be meaningful ones I’ll strive towards. But I’m also going to write out a five-years-older description of myself in terms of character and convictions.
Are you clear and specific about who you’re becoming? Are you choosing your influences? Do you feel in control or out of control? Does this sound refreshing or like personal growth mumbo jumbo?
Here’s the risk, and I’ll be done...
Time is flying, at least from my perspective. I remember the day I got my drivers license like it was yesterday, and I will be completing my twenties next year. I don’t want to wake up once a decade and have missed the opportunity before me because I didn’t set my sights, not only in the right direction, but at all. The cost is just too high to float through life.